I'll Be Here
by Glimmer Conlon O'Leary
Summary: I can't feel the way I did before. Don't turn Your back on me, God, I won't be ignored. Time won't heal this damage anymore. Don't turn Your back on me, I won't be ignored. I'll be here 'cause You're all that I've got. (Reposted)


Hey guys, Glimmer here. I'm on a Linkin Park kick. I love their latest CD. –sigh-. So go out and get it. And remember: The song "Faint" is by Linkin Park and is owned by them and whoever wrote it—not me! Enjoy! 

Glimm

(I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard) 

We all are, I suppose. I mean, this is the life we live. But _please_. You can't just leave me here all alone. I may talk big and walk tough, but I'm just a kid. And as a kid, as a _human_, I need Your help. _Help me._

(I am what I want You to want, what I want You to feel  
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince You, to just believe  
This is real)

I'm not making this up, damn it. I tell You every single day that I need You to help me; and that I need You to believe me when I tell You what happens—and yet You never listen. The scuffles on the streets, the brutal beatings in alleyways—they're all real. _They're right here._ And You _have_ to see them. 

(So I let go, watching You turn your back like You always do  
Face away and pretend that I'm not)

It seems like the only people You help are the people who never seem to _need_ help in the first place. Why'd You let all those big muckity-mucks have all that damn money, and leave us with none? Leave _me _with none? And I beg You to help, and I plead with You to listen—and You don't answer. _Why?_

(But I'll be here 'cause You're all that I got) 

I can't deny it anymore. I tried for so long to tell myself that I didn't need Your damned help; but on those cold winter nights, I never believed it. When the days get bleary and the nights bring snow, I can't believe I don't need You. You're what I need the most, and the one thing I feel like I don't have. 

(I can't feel the way I did before  
Don't turn Your back on me)

Stop! Stop turning away from me; stop leaving me alone. How am I supposed to believe in You if You never show me that You're there? Some people don't have faith in You even when You show Yourself to them in amazing, spectacular ways. And all I want is a home, and money to get off these foul streets. All I want is a chance to _live_. 

(I won't be ignored) 

Damn You, God. Someone should deport You for not doing Your job. Why in the hell; in the name of all that is holy, do You ignore me when I need You the most? What did I do? Did I offend You in some way that I don't know about? Somehow, I don't think so. Until now, I've tried to be faithful, I've tried to believe—even when I was telling myself I _shouldn't_ I believed. But now? You offended me first. You turned away from me when I needed You the most. So _damn You_.

(Time won't heal this damage anymore) 

__

Whoever said that Time heals all wounds was a fool. He must have been living in some faraway fairy-world that I don't know about. Because if Time can heal your wounds, your wounds are the result of child's play—not life. And God, if You had a life like mine, You'd damn Time right along with Yourself. 

(I am what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubt  
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear me out)  
  


I know why You won't help me. It's because I'm one of Your failures, aren't I? You're just like the rest of the world. I was stupid for thinking You were anything great. You act just like them—If I got myself on the street, it must have been through some fault of my own, and so now I'm not worth worrying about. 

(Face away and pretend that I'm not  
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got)

You can turn away from me all You want; You can put up a blind eye. But through it all, I'll still be here. _I'm not going away_. And one day, God, you'll be forced to listen. 

(Hear me out now  
You're gonna listen to me, like it or not  
Right now)

Guess that day's today. Right now, God. Right here, right now. Shut the hell up and listen. I can't do this anymore! This isn't the life for me! I'm better than this! We all are! So help us! For once, God, help us. Get us out of this Hell on Earth through any way possible. I'm sure some wouldn't mind that hard, quick, flash of fatal lightening as long as You whisk them up to Heaven as quickly as the gates will part to let the through. No, God. We won't do this anymore. We won't live here in this. We can't. Hear us, God. _Hear us yell no_. 

(I won't be ignored) 

How many times have I said it? A hundred? A thousand? _Listen!_ We spend half our lives talking to you, silently wondering whether or not the ceiling will actually talk back. We cross ourselves in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, silently wondering if wearing the cross and the Star of David (just for extra protection) would send us to Hell. We clasp our hands and kneel by our beds at night, thanking you for the 'blessings' that we have, silently thinking, "Fuck that, give me food to eat and money to live on."

Help. Help us God, We need your help. Prove to us that you're here. 

You're all that I've got.

**_{End}_**


End file.
